I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
You were trust falling into bushes
Randomize
