Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
You need Xanax blowdarts
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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