There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
