Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
