can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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