i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
