you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
