is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
