just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
