..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
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