Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
so much tequila, so little girl.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
