You work out of a Hotel?
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
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