Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
This is my gift to your gina
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
