So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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