Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
