Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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