I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Randomize
