you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
