So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
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