I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
