Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
