I think i peed on brittanys purse
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize
