my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
