i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
i want to swaddle you in tequila
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
