last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Randomize
