We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize