the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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