ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
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