Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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