i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
