You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
