I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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