but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize