Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
