There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
