I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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