Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize
