I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
