Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
