so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
