I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
