all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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