her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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