Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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