I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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