Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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