Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
