i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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