That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
