Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
