i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
