It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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