went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
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