I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
