the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
it glows. i had to have it.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
