when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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