True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I think I sprained my soul last night
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize