My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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