i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
