So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
