I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
