yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
