we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
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