Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Randomize