He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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