Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
