You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
