you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
