Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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